Faux feelings.

When we talk about our emotions, accuracy is important. We say I feel ___ a lot.

The phrase has a lot of power, because emotions are personal. We’re not allowed to question or criticize each other’s emotions!

So I feel ___ gets misused a lot. It says, “Don’t argue with my claim—it’s just the way I feel.”If we use an I feel statement to accuse someone or shame ourselves, it’s a big problem. Because it’s not a feeling. It’s an accusation. It’s a perception or belief. It’s a faux feeling.

Here’s a more extensive article about faux feelings.

Examples of faux feelings:

Abused

Ambushed, Blindsided

Attacked, Beat up

Belittled

Betrayed

Blamed

Cheated, Wronged

Coerced or Bullied or Pressured

Blocked, Cornered

Criticized

Deceived, Tricked

Dismissed or Misled

Disrespected

Forgotten, Neglected, Abandoned

Gaslit

Harassed

Ignored

Imposter syndrome

Insulted

Invisible or Unheard

Judged

Marginalized

Misunderstood

Naive or Stupid

Patronized, Talked-down-to or Infantilized

Put down

Rejected

Smothered

Taken for granted or Unappreciated

Unimportant

Unloved

Unqualified

Unseen

Unsupported

Q: Can you think of other examples of faux feelings?

Q: Can you think of phrases people use as feeling statements? Eg, “I feel that you never have time for me.” This is an accusation. It is also wordy. Emotions are one word in length. Thoughts and beliefs use multiple words to put concepts together. Statements that begin with “I feel that…” or “I feel like…” are not feeling statements. They are opinions, consiting of